أحسن الله إليك ustadh. You mentioned that only a person of authority may be strict in advice, otherwise the asl is leniency. Does this include a husband with his wife? Also, you said not to spend time defending you, but I get angry when I see someone defaming you, what is the least that I can do?

Be gentle with your wives and loved ones, as for strictness it is not the norm. It is used when necessary and leniency does not work, so if we want to push away evil then we exercise strictness with wisdom, not to fulfil personal vendettas and satisfaction for ourselves, but to prevent or reduce evil.