It may be difficult for me to have a say in avoiding gatherings thanksgiving, Christmas, new years, and birthdays. Do I just have hate in my heart and disbelieve in the rituals, and what about smiling for pictures and having to initiate or reply to “happy thanksgiving/new year/birthday” Christmas.

Hating it in your heart is not enough while you stay and take part. Do not attend these celebrations, and do not congratulate or reply to the greeting, because the scholars said congratulating them on their religious festivals is forbidden even out of politeness or shyness, and this includes the new year. Birthdays are an innovation. Pictures taken for memories are not allowed. Excuse yourself gently and with good manners.